North East football is another year older, but I'm none the wiser. Just when I think I've worked it out, Ashley goes and sacks Hughton. Or Sunderland go months without a win. Or Gordon Strachan turns out to be a great, big dud. But I've really enjoyed the last 12 months. Some bits more than others mind.....
HEROES OF 2010
5. STEVE BRUCE. Started the year on the crest of a slump. Then recovered. Told a big fat lie about not doing much business over the summer. Broke the transfer record again. Then carried the can for Sunderland's worst derby day in 50 years. But Sunderland's recovery from their Halloween hell has been impressive. Steve Bruce is making progress.
4. KEVIN NOLAN. The leader of the pack. Influential, responsible, clever and effective. Brilliant in the Championship and then reassuringly effective in the Premier League. His place in the hearts and the history books is assured after his hat trick in the Derby.
3. DARREN BENT. The first 10 months of his calender year were terrific. His debut season at Sunderland was virtually perfect, on and off the pitch. He should have gone to the World Cup, although was probably best off out of it. Then @DB11TT went back on twitter and picked up where he left off at the start of the new campaign. Things have gone a bit wonky since then though. An injury and a barren spell meant the year didn't finish on a great note. But how does the old saying go ? "Form is temporary, class is permanent."
2. ANDY CARROLL. In January he was just another championship striker with everything to prove. By the end of the year he was an England International, the hottest property in the premier league and a recurring theme in the nightmares of defenders accross the land. As long as he sorts himself out off the pitch, the sky is the limit.
1. CHRIS HUGHTON. Just for a moment, think what might have happened without him. Take a few seconds to think of what he achieved with very little money and very little actual managerial experience. Remember how his players fought for him to get a new contract and how they mourned his departure. Smile as you recall his often bland press conferences, which were short on soundbites but long on dignity. Then shake your head once more at the madness and unfairness of it all. Chris Hughton's not perfect, but he did a great job at Newcastle in sometimes awful circumstance. He left with his head held high and he'll always have Halloween.
VILLAINS OF 2010
5. KRIS BOYD. It turns out the Scottish Football reporters were right. They were never convinced that the SPL's record goalscorer had an all-round game that stood up to scrutiny. Boyd stands accused now of being football's ultimate flat track bully. Put him in the best team in Scotland and he'll score goal after goal against whatever rubbish rocks up at Ibrox. Put him in the 19th best team in the championship and you get very little.
4. LEE CATTERMOLE. Well, he's just a villain isn't he. A pantomime villain. He's not had a bad year, just a notorious year. Three red cards in 2010 and there could have been many more. The yellow is almost a given in every game and you can usually see it coming before he does. He's got the makings of a great captain, but only if the penny drops, because it's no use being the heartbeat of your team if you're never available to play for them. Encouraging signs on that score towards the end of the year.
3. DARLINGTON FC. Do you remember Ryan Kidd ? I don't blame you if you don't. Perhaps you were on holiday for the 11 days in June when Ryan Kidd was manager of Darlington before deciding that, on second thoughts, he just didn't fancy it. But Ryan Kidd sums up the Quakers 2010. A year that was stupendously, ridiculously awful. The sins of the past meant relegation was inevitable. Banishment from the Football League was the ultimate punishment, but the Quakers very own managerial merry-go-round provided a grotesque sideshow. Staunton failed, Davey two-timed and Kidd just ran away. The fans didn't deserve it and nor did the chairman and after a rocky start, hopefully Mark Cooper can lead them to a brighter 2011. It can't be any worse.
2. MIKE ASHLEY. It's his football club and Mike Ashley will do exactly what he wants to do with it and he doesn't care, not even a little, what you or I think. Not only that, he's never, ever going to explain to you or I why he drops these bombshells, because it's his football club and he doesn't care what you think about his reasons anyway.
1. GORDON STRACHAN. Occasionally very funny. From time to time quite profound. But mostly unpleasant, sarcastic and a bit of a know-it-all. Except it turns out he didn't know it all. He was given the platform and the resources to pull Middlesbrough out of the hole the club had fallen into. But he just kept on digging. He didn't take the money, so he left with his reputation as a man intact. But as for his reputation as a manager, that's in tatters.
MATCHES OF 2010
5. WHITLEY BAY 6 WROXHAM 1. Haway the Bay x2. This time with more goals and a genuinely emotional finale as Mark Taylor, one of the boys of 2009, was ushered up to collect the FA Vase as he battled Motor Neurone Disease.
4. NEWCASTLE UNITED 2 NOTTINGHAM FOREST 0. The best team in the championship beat the third best team in the championship in a fine match at the end of March and Tyneside breathed a sigh of relief as they realised the job was done and the nightmare was almost over.
3. CHELSEA 0 SUNDERLAND 3. Blimey. Who saw that coming ?
2. SUNDERLAND 3 SPURS 1. Bonkers game at the SoL as Benty scored twice against his old club and also managed to miss two from the spot before Zenden wrapped it up with a screamer and we all left wondering what Harry Redknapp's wife is like at taking penalties.
1. NEWCASTLE UNITED 5 SUNDERLAND 1. Whether it brought you joy or pain, it was the one game that will be talked about for years to come. Two extremes of performance collided on the same day to produce the most one-sided ass-kicking in a generation. Sunderland fans suffered, but at least their team quickly recovered. Newcastle fans went out and bought the DVD.
I present the sport on ITV Tyne Tees and Border. Once, I was question number 3 on the picture round of the quiz at the Blue Bell in Fulwell. My mother was so proud.
Thursday, 30 December 2010
Thursday, 16 December 2010
A Room with an Alan
It could have been Alan Partridge walking into that press conference and no one would have been that surprised. Once the chaos button is pressed at St James Park, anything can happen. But it wasn’t Alan Partridge, it was Alan Pardew, sitting by himself and taking responsibility for a mess that he hadn’t created. He wasn’t like Partridge at all. One week, one win and two press conferences later, it’s time to give credit where credit’s due. Alan Pardew has managed to create a good first impression out of what appeared to be a no-win situation. He handled his first press conference with as much dignity and honesty as was possible given that he was wearing dead man’s shoes. He didn’t dodge the Chris Hughton issue and he gave everyone an interview during an exhaustive media schedule. And here’s something you probably didn’t know. He CHOSE to sit by himself at the top table. He wanted to take the questions because he wanted it to be HIS press conference, not a chance for the media to throw stones at the Newcastle United hierachy. Brave, if nothing else. Throughout it all he never came across as arrogant or self-possessed and he was unswervingly polite. If there was a message he was trying to get across it was simply that this was not his fault. He didn’t sack Chris Hughton and he didn’t force anyone to give him the job. As an out of work football manager, what was he supposed to do when offered a premier league gig ? All Alan Pardew did last week was convince Mike Ashley to give him a five and a year contract and then win his first match in charge. As for the vague smell of “Cockney Croneyism” wafting in the background, well I don’t really buy that. Whatever else Ashley is, he’s definitely a shrewd businessman and the idea that he’d give the job to someone just because he was Derek Llambias drinking buddy just seems beyond ridiculous. So it’s time to move forward and what we're left with is a new manager who’s launched a successful charm offensive during his first seven days. But this is all about the charm so far and not about the offensive. Alan Pardew’s been nice. He’s shaken everyone’s hand and, it’s worth repeating, he’s won his first match in charge. Of course just because he comes across as a decent bloke doesn’t mean he’s going to be a great manager of Newcastle United. But the point is that there’s no reason to assume he’s going to fail either. He may not be who you wanted, but he’s here now, you’re all stuck with each other and you might as well make the best of it. Alan Pardew walked into that room last week, not Alan Partridge, and seven days on it’s going fine. Lots of football managers are like Partridge actually. Pompous gasbags who are blissfully unaware of their own problems. But this one isn't. He’ll never be Alan Shearer, but he’s no Alan Partridge either.
Wednesday, 8 December 2010
The Admirable Hughton
It's often said that life at Newcastle United is the stuff of great drama. A theatre of the unpredictable, and occasionally, the absurd. You couldn’t make it up. You couldn’t write it. Oh, but you could. In 1902, J.M.Barrie wrote a play called “The Admirable Crichton”. If Newcastle United’s former manager - a cultured, intelligent and civilised man - ever chances across a revival of this work, he may allow himself a wry smile. Very briefly, the play is about a loyal and resourceful butler who works for an aristocratic family. Crichton’s purpose was to serve, but due to extraordinary circumstances he became, for a while, the leader. He and the family were shipwrecked on a desert island and Crichton was the only person who knew how to keep them alive. He did a fine job as leader, but eventually they were rescued, the status quo returned, Crichton went back to service and eventually, so as not to cause any social embarrassment, he left the family. Does this ring any bells ?
Chris Hughton became Newcastle Manager by accident. He was the last man standing after the dreadful relegation from the premier league. Alan Shearer never got a phone call, no decisions were taken during the uncomfortable summer of 2009 and when the new season rolled around they needed someone to pick the team. So the club turned to the Admirable Hughton and asked him to keep them alive after they were shipwrecked in the Championship. And he flourished. He was the loyal, resourceful man who knew what was required in these extraordinary circumstances. He united a fractious group of players and encouraged a strong sense of collective responsibility. Newcastle United enjoyed a successful, uplifting season, winning the Championship at a canter. The Admirable Hughton had rescued Newcastle United. They were back in the premier league and the status quo had been restored. No one should be surprised at the events that have unfolded since then.
Rememner, once the status quo was restored, the family no longer needed the loyal and resourceful servant to be their leader. They wanted someone more appropriate to their social status, so as not to cause embarrassment. So the Admirable Hughton was cast aside in favour of a bigger name, a more experienced manager, or a more appropriate drinking buddy.
The football argument is that the Admirable Hughton was JUST a coach, NOT a manager. He was the perfect man to steer a superior squad through the Championship badlands, but now they're dining at the top table again, Newcastle require someone used to mixing with the aristocracy. If you absolutely must stretch the point to it's limits, you can maybe, sort of, see something in that.
But the Admirable Hughton's achievements offer a very persuasive counter-argument. There was promotion, silverware and redemption. This season has touched perfection at St James Park (you know what day I mean) and while there have been bad days, the league position and the points-to-games ratio were absolutely fine. Added to that were the unseen elements, the factors that don't show up on the stats sheet. The unity of the dressing room and the one-for-all-all-for-one spirit. The vague and unusual feeling (illusion) of stability. There must be a danger that at least some of that will drain away.
But it's up to the aristocracy in this particular version of the drama. It's up to Mike Ashley. It's his club and if he thinks the loyal, resourceful Admirable Hughton has served his purpose, then the rest of the family just has to accept it and move on. Those are the rules of the game. They're always the rules of this game. It's sad, but don't dwell too long on the moral argument, the idea that the Admirable Hughton is a good man and deserves so much better than this. That argument is absolutely 100% true. But there's no such thing as a moral argument in this game. Time to move on.
The Admirable Hughton leaves with his head held high and with his reputation significantly enhanced. He will always have a place in the hearts and the history books at St James Park.
Chris Hughton became Newcastle Manager by accident. He was the last man standing after the dreadful relegation from the premier league. Alan Shearer never got a phone call, no decisions were taken during the uncomfortable summer of 2009 and when the new season rolled around they needed someone to pick the team. So the club turned to the Admirable Hughton and asked him to keep them alive after they were shipwrecked in the Championship. And he flourished. He was the loyal, resourceful man who knew what was required in these extraordinary circumstances. He united a fractious group of players and encouraged a strong sense of collective responsibility. Newcastle United enjoyed a successful, uplifting season, winning the Championship at a canter. The Admirable Hughton had rescued Newcastle United. They were back in the premier league and the status quo had been restored. No one should be surprised at the events that have unfolded since then.
Rememner, once the status quo was restored, the family no longer needed the loyal and resourceful servant to be their leader. They wanted someone more appropriate to their social status, so as not to cause embarrassment. So the Admirable Hughton was cast aside in favour of a bigger name, a more experienced manager, or a more appropriate drinking buddy.
The football argument is that the Admirable Hughton was JUST a coach, NOT a manager. He was the perfect man to steer a superior squad through the Championship badlands, but now they're dining at the top table again, Newcastle require someone used to mixing with the aristocracy. If you absolutely must stretch the point to it's limits, you can maybe, sort of, see something in that.
But the Admirable Hughton's achievements offer a very persuasive counter-argument. There was promotion, silverware and redemption. This season has touched perfection at St James Park (you know what day I mean) and while there have been bad days, the league position and the points-to-games ratio were absolutely fine. Added to that were the unseen elements, the factors that don't show up on the stats sheet. The unity of the dressing room and the one-for-all-all-for-one spirit. The vague and unusual feeling (illusion) of stability. There must be a danger that at least some of that will drain away.
But it's up to the aristocracy in this particular version of the drama. It's up to Mike Ashley. It's his club and if he thinks the loyal, resourceful Admirable Hughton has served his purpose, then the rest of the family just has to accept it and move on. Those are the rules of the game. They're always the rules of this game. It's sad, but don't dwell too long on the moral argument, the idea that the Admirable Hughton is a good man and deserves so much better than this. That argument is absolutely 100% true. But there's no such thing as a moral argument in this game. Time to move on.
The Admirable Hughton leaves with his head held high and with his reputation significantly enhanced. He will always have a place in the hearts and the history books at St James Park.