Can you feel the rhythm ?

Martin O’Neill’s first game at Sunderland left a lasting image. A perfect snapshot of an excitable Northern Irishman jumping for joy at the start of a glorious new adventure.

But that’s all it was – a start.

What was most encouraging was that O’Neill seemed to feel the rhythm straight away. He got caught up in the atmosphere and his enthusiasm was absorbed and amplified by the crowd. That’s important, especially in the North East.

Football management is a desperately hard and unforgiving business at the best of times. Here in the North East we don’t do the best of times. By and large we live a silverware-free football existence. It’s other things that matter - other things that decide whether a manager will be successful.

So what is the magic formula ? How do you succeed in an area where success isn’t necessary, but failure is always just around the corner ?

There’s no simple answer. I haven’t got one anyway. The best I can come up with is this: To succeed as a football manager in the North East, you need to feel the rhythm.

I don’t mean a Niall Quinn’s Disco Pants kind of rhythm. I mean the rhythm, the mood, of your public. Understand what they want, what they expect, and you’re half way there. Of course you have to win some matches, preferably lots, and signing the odd superstar helps. But success in the North East isn’t measured by trophies in the cabinet. It isn’t measured by how much money you spend in the transfer market. It’s more to do with creating the right environment and setting the right tone. It’s about making the fans feel excited as they walk to the stadium. It’s about putting a team on the pitch that they can be proud of.

It isn’t easy. A host of big names have come, gone and missed the point spectacularly.

To make it even harder, expectations change and evolve over time. I don’t mean the Great Expectations argument – the trophies, Europe, Champions League, buy-me-a-new-striker argument. I don't even mean the Steve Bruce “3rd top ten finish in 50 years, what more do you want" argument. I mean as the North East changes, the desires of North East football fans change.

I'd guess in financially hard times like those we're living in now, the North East public might value a hard-working, whole-hearted approach from their team. The flaky millionaires may suddenly be less appealing.

It’s subtle stuff like that. Our best managers read the changing rhythms and change with them. But the rhythms change all the time.

To illustrate how hard it is, consider this - even Sir Bobby was sacked in the end.

That man felt the rhythm of the region as much as any manager ever has. Tony Mowbray is another who very successfully and genuinely taps into his past to understand the mood of the present.

But North East heritage or playing experience doesn’t guarantee success. It didn’t work for Bruce in the end, although he had his moments. Reputation certainly doesn’t guarantee success. For every Sir Bobby there was a Gullit. For every Keegan there was an Allardyce. For every Reid there was a Lawrie Mac. For every Mowbray there was a Strachan. We like our managerial messiahs up here, but they don’t come along often.

We’re doing alright at the moment though. Mowbray and Middlesbrough were made for each other. Alan Pardew feels the rhythm. He’s a very clever and resilient man – watch him conduct the home crowd when he knows the team and the stadium needs a lift. Martin O’Neill caught the rhythm of Sunderland on Sunday. There are no guarantees, because North East football fans are a complicated lot, but on first impressions, he looks like a man who’s ready to dance to our particular tune.

Really. I mean, REALLY.

Hartlepool United sacked Mick Wadsworth.

The same Mick Wadsworth who picked up the pieces when the whole club looked to be dying on it’s backside 15 months ago. The same Mick Wadsworth who led them to absolute safety in League One last season when everyone tipped them for relegation. The same Mick Wadsworth who got the club 5 points off the play-off places heading into Christmas. The same Mick Wadsworth who probably didn’t want the headline job in the first place, but took it on because it seemed the right thing to do.

There’s gratitude for you.

But gratitude doesn’t exist in football. Just ask Chris Hughton.

Wadsworth’s downfall came about because his problems were all on his own doorstep. The club’s wonderfully original and successful summer season ticket campaign got an unprecedented number of bums on seats and feet on terraces. Victoria Park was going to rock. Victoria Park was going to be a fortress and that was going to be the catalyst for something wonderful. But stage fright set in. 7 homes defeats in a row led to restless natives. That, in turn, led to a restless boardroom.

It’s a rotten run, there’s no disputing that, but what about some context ?

Exhibit A is the away form. They may be bafflingly hopeless at home, but they’re pure steel away and they’ve only lost once in the league on their travels. That isn’t the calling card of a struggling squad.

Exhibit B is common sense. They’re Hartlepool. They’re not Sheffield Wednesday, or Preston North End, or another of the historical giants who’ve fallen on hard times. They’re Hartlepool. Every season at this level is a tiny miracle. Further progress would mean radically restructuring the club. Further progress would render their stadium unfit for purpose. Further progress would frighten the life out of them. But suddenly 5 points off the play-off’s isn’t good enough anymore. It’s not logical and it doesn’t seem fair.

But ask Chris Hughton about life being unfair. While you’re at it, ask him about the perils of losing at home. Hughton and Wadsworth both inherited jobs in similar circumstances. Both went on to do their jobs very well. But a sequence of one point from home games against Blackpool, Stoke, Wigan and Blackburn played a big part in Hughton's downfall at Newcastle.

Steve Bruce is another who discovered you can only get away with serving up rubbish in front of your home crowd for so long.

So the very obvious lesson is - if you have to mess up, don’t do it on your own doorstep. Otherwise you’re in trouble. Hartlepool United have sacked Mick Wadsworth and it doesn’t seem fair. But we’ve been here before and we’ll be here again. Sometimes it works out, as Newcastle United fans can testify. Sometimes it doesn't.

Bye Brucie.

They’ll miss the man. They won’t miss the manager. Steve Bruce is a fine fellow. Good company. A good old-fashioned football man. But recently, his football hasn’t been good and that’s what matters in the end. History may eventually be kind to him, because he didn’t do a bad job as Sunderland Manager. But it was time to go.

It’s the break-up you remember at the end of any relationship and this break-up got nasty. But after a while you'll remember the good times and there were good times. There were stirring performances against Premier League heavyweights, drama in the transfer market and a top ten finish.

One day you’ll think back to the start of the relationship and ask yourself why it began in the first place. Then you'll realise love has seldom crossed such boundaries. To put a Geordie in charge of Sunderland is to play with fire. That sort of thing worked for Bob Stokoe. It doesn't work for everyone. Certainly if the Geordie in charge of Sunderland keeps getting beaten by Newcastle United. And especially if the Geordie in charge of Sunderland ends up having to watch Newcastle United disappearing over the horizon.

But as the man said, he couldn't change where he was born, and the tribal dance really wasn't the problem in the end. Never mind the lyrics to the song after Wigan’s winning goal. It wouldn’t have been sung in the first place if it wasn’t for the football. “Geordie” was just another adjective adding another layer of insult. But the sheer force of the reaction was the point of no return. The relationship between fans and manager broke down completely that day and there was no realistic hope of recovery. Those were the worst of times and they are raw, recent memories.

So context is difficult. But whether by accident or design, Steve Bruce did a very important job for Sunderland. He steadied the ship. Bruce represents phase two of the Niall Quinn revival project. Phase One was about shocking the club back to life. Roy Keane did that, but his dark passenger travelled with him and the Irishman’s volatile personality blew up in Sunderland’s face. Sbragia was a footnote to Keane, and after that they needed someone reliable. Bruce was an excellent choice in that respect. He delivered finishing positions of 13th and 10th in the premier league and, despite the odd scary month, his Sunderland side never really got sucked into relegation battles.

Of course that wasn’t really the idea. The idea was that Steve Bruce was a manager ready to move to the next level, Sunderland were a club ready to move to the next level and the two would compliment each other perfectly. But it turns out Steve Bruce wasn’t ready to move to the next level. It now looks like mid-table in the premier league is his level, as his previous record suggested.

But while it hasn’t worked out in the end for Steve Bruce, Niall Quinn, or Ellis Short, it hasn’t been a disaster for Sunderland. They’ve had the shock, they’ve had the steady, maybe it’s logical that someone else is required to make the next step.

So where did it all go wrong ? Sometimes the obvious answer is the correct answer and the biggest single factor in Sunderland’s decline and Steve Bruce’s downfall was the sale of Darren Bent. Of course it was. Bruce had a 20-goal a season man, he lost him and he never replaced him. Bent's a wonderful player for any manager, because he guarantees goals and papers over cracks. Remove a player like that from a team and the cracks start to appear. In this case the cracks widened alarmingly.

The circumstances of the sale ultimately don’t matter. Whether it was the size of the bid, the greed or the unhappiness of the player, or simply the transient nature of modern football, the result was the same. Sunderland lost their prized asset and they lost the ability to paper over the cracks.

Asamoah Gyan didn't solve the problem. In hindsight, The African Superstar, with his bling and his music and the twinkle in his eye, was a bad fit for Sunderland. A very expensive bad fit. He was signed originally to play alongside Bent. Then he became the obvious man to inherit the goalscoring burden. But Gyan didn't really succeed in either role and appeared less and less interested in any of it as the weeks and months progressed.

And there's the rub, neither Bent's departure nor Gyan's ridiculous loan move to the Emirates Dog and Duck were directly Steve Bruce's fault, but he had to handle the consequences. He failed to do that and he really should have known Sir Alex wouldn't let Danny Welbeck out to play again.

He did try to deal with the goalscoring problem of course. In fact he tried to deal with every problem at Sunderland in roughly the same way. He went out and bought a new team.

This is the massive contradiction of the Bruce era. Mr Reliable, Mr Steady, chose to run his team in an almost constant state of instability. The grass was always greener on the other side of the transfer window. Coaching and long term planning never seemed to come into it.

That's where it all fell down really. At some point this week, Ellis Short will have asked himself if he could see a long term strategy and if he believed in it. He either couldn't see it or he no longer believed in it.

A good old-fashioned football man like Bruce will understand this, because results are all that matters in the end. They haven't been good enough this season. They haven't been good enough this year. So never mind the latest expensive summer rebuild, it was Steve Bruce's team, Steve Bruce's tactics, Steve Bruce's responsibility and time waits for no man. It stopped working a long time ago and there was no true sign of recovery. When all you can do is ask for more time, it usually means your time is up.

But Steve Bruce IS a good man. He tried his best and, as he kept telling us in recent months, he did make Sunderland the tenth best club in England last season. So once the nasty break-up is forgotten, try and remember him fondly. Choose your favourite Brucie catchphrase if you like. Whether it's "That's for sure", or "quite remarkable". Of course the irony is, in the end, he just wasn't quite remarkable enough. As I said, they'll miss the man. They won't miss the manager.

Time away

14 days without twitter. Without newspapers. Without sky sports news. Without contacts. Without any sort of information at all concerning North East Football.

It was frustrating for about 48 hours. But then I started to see the value of some time away. Nothing but sunshine, all inclusive booze and a welcome chance to switch off the football engine and enjoy some time with my family.

And apart from the dicky tummy, I've loved it. It's cleared my head and recharged my batteries, which I now realise were in urgent need of recharging.

And the best thing is I'm back just in time for the start of the premier league season. Just in time to line up for the annual prediction parade.

While I've been enjoying my time away, I've been lying on sun beds and wondering how Sunderland and Newcastle United have spent their time away, and whether it's been time well spent.

The Magpies have certainly been busy. Busy selling one of their most influential players almost entirely for the sake of making a point. Busy chasing their other most influential player out of the door by all means available. Busy going on a glamourous but faintly disastrous tour of the USA. Busy pointing out that the return of two injured players was like having two extra new signings (a point that's been sledgehammered home at every opportunity) and busy dangerously over-hyping one of those players before he's really proved anything.

So, busy in some ways. But not especially busy in others. Not especially busy spending the now-mythical Andy Carroll money. So far 5 new players have arrived, although not at great expense, and only 4 are likely to figure in the first team. And, well, those 4 better be good otherwise Newcastle United's time away starts to look like an exercise in weakening rather than strengthening. Certainly team spirit can't have been strengthened by the twitterings of Joey Barton and (briefly) Jose Enrique.

But here's the thing, during my time away I read the book "Moneyball" and I can't help wondering if Mike Ashley read it on his holidays. Very briefly, the book is about how the Oakland A's, one of the poorest teams in baseball, managed to compete with the likes of the New York Yankees, who are the Manchester United of baseball. They did it by changing the way they scouted players and using detailed statistics to see qualities that others had missed. This gave them a group of rough diamonds, who didn't need massive wages, that the big clubs had never bothered with. Oakland had their team, the rough diamonds had the chance no one else was prepared to give them and if they went on to become stars, the A's turned a profit by letting them leave and replacing them with younger, rougher diamonds. There were no star names on big money because they couldn't afford them and they didn't fit the game plan anyway. Give or take the odd cultural sporting difference, that's Ashley's Newcastle United. I suppose it might work, but when it comes to predictions, you're whistling in the wind.

They might finish 7th if the Moneyball thing works. They might finish 20th if it doesn't. So there you are, I'm saying Newcastle will finish somewhere between 7th and 20th.

Sunderland have been busy during their time away. Absurdly busy for about a fortnight when they seemed to buy a player every half hour. This was no surprise. For one thing, Steve Bruce is actually more 'Arry than 'Arry when it comes to the transfer market. Also, he had no choice. The springtime collapse revealed some glaring weaknesses in his squad, injuries and mercenaries not withstanding. So during his time away Steve Bruce has set about addressing those weaknesses. The sad, but inevitable, departure of Jordan Henderson gave him room for manoeuvre and he's tried to play the market and manage the wage bill cleverly. It looks like good business, but the proof is in the pudding. They've been pretty average during pre-season (although that doesn't count for much) and they'll need to hit the ground running when the real stuff starts because their opening month is full of potential pitfalls.

But it's a little easier to predict Sunderland under Steve Bruce. Steady progress is his brief. That's what he's delivered so far and I see no reason to expect anything different this time. 7th is the glass ceiling in my opinion, but that would represent a big step and I think 8th or 9th is more realistic this year.

Hand on heart I can't see too much joy in the cups. Both Newcastle and Sunderland could afford to be a bit more serious about the knockouts and I can see improvements for both. But competition will be fierce, because Chelsea, Manchester City and especially Arsenal can't afford to leave empty-handed this season.

So our time away is over. We're back to reality and there's an early Derby to concentrate our hearts and minds. Whether you spent your time away relaxing, or rebuilding, or arguing amongst yourselves, I hope you enjoyed it. I hope it proves worthwhile.

Maybe. Or maybe next year.

The glory of August for the football fan is the limitless possibility. The storylines are unwritten and everyone's glass is, or at least should be, half full. To me, the glass is definitely half full at Middlesbrough, slightly more than half full at Carlisle and edging towards three quarters full at Hartlepool. I'm just not sure anyone's glass is full enough to satisfy their thirst for a happy ending.

It's ironic that Juninho was back in town recently, to serve as a reminder of the good old days at Middlesbrough. The years when money was no object and a small town in Europe lifted a trophy and reached for the stars. It's ironic because a lot's changed since then. They're entering their 3rd year of exile from the top flight and the parachute won't open so far his time. Corners will be cut and new arrivals will be begged, borrowed or stolen rather than lavished with huge wages and signing on fees. But while the recent past no longer provides a useful reference point, a trip 25 years down memory lane is more instructive. It's the spirit of 86 that's needed now. That famous and much-loved team that took a football club from the brink of liquidation to promotion in the blink of an eye. That's the blueprint for the new austerity years at the Riverside. Of course Tony Mowbray provides the bridge between the two eras, and of course it would be just perfect for Mogga to fly Boro to the moon. Certainly they closed last season in dazzling form, and so far the squad is still in pretty good shape. But until the window closes they're vulnerable, and then there's the opposition, a subject I'll return to later.

My concern for Carlisle is basically to do with glass ceilings and where, precisely, theirs is located. Last season they finished mid-table in league one and won the JPT at Wembley. That represented a good years work. It also presents a big challenge for Greg Abbott and his staff, because now they're expected to do better. But how much better can they do ? The club is well run and on a sound financial footing after back to back Wembley trips, but that doesn't mean they can go toe to toe with the Sheffield clubs or Huddersfield in the transfer market. They can compete, but they need absolutely everything to fall in their favour in terms of signings, injuries, momentum and good luck. That's a lot to ask, and the highs of last season leave them with an awfully big act to follow.

I reckon Hartlepool smashed through their glass ceiling years ago. Every season they survive at this level is a minor miracle. But it also begs the question of whether they dare to dream of going higher. Well, whisper it quietly, but this might be their window of opportunity. #areyoucomingtopools was one of the hashtag highs of the summer. Hartlepool's innovative season ticket scheme proved to be a massive success and as a result they find themselves in a unique situation. Little old Pools will have a formidable home crowd behind them next season, which could generate the momentum for something unlikely and something wonderful. And why not, with Nobby Solano sat in the middle conducting the orchestra ?

But then we come back to the question of the opposition. This is where my glass suddenly dips from half full to half empty. In league one, can Carlisle and Hartlepool really live with the Sheffields ? Can they keep up with Clarkie's Huddersfield ? Preston ? And those are just the obvious ones. It's even worse for Boro up in the championship. Sven's Leicester are the big spenders. Big Sam and Big Kev Nolan will get the Hammers moving. Steve McClaren might just remind the Teesside public what a good manager he is over at Forest. Olly's Blackpool look keen to prove that whole Premier League thing wasn't a fluke. Chris Hughton might repeat his Magpie Miracle at Birmingham and the usual suspects like Burnley, Reading and Cardiff won't be far away. I've got a sneaking fancy for Brighton in their new stadium as well.

It's a jungle out there in the football league this season and I'm not 100% convinced our boys can live with the big beasts.

But I haven't given up hope. There's always a few tales of the unexpected and remember, it's still August. The storylines haven't been written yet and the lush, green, summer pitches are still rich with possibility.

Happy Endings

Everyone loves a happy ending. They were there, last season, if you looked carefully enough. Some were obvious, like Darlington and their FA Trophy, or Carlisle and their Johnstone's Paint Pot. Some were more subtle, like Tony Mowbray's gradual reawakening of Middlesbrough and Hartlepool's refusal to get drawn into a relegation battle. But everyone had something to look back on with satisfaction. Sunderland's happy ending came in the form of a top ten finish. Of course they went all round the houses to get there, but Steve Bruce will tell you ultimately that doesn't matter. They found unlikely heroes (Phil Bardsley) and there were pantomime villains (dastardly Darren Bent) and they finally found what they were looking for in the dying moments of the season. The great irony of course was that the Black Cats got the top ten finish that looked for all the world as if it was destined for Newcastle. But the Magpies needn't dwell on the denouement. Their happy ending was much more straightforward and was achieved with time to spare. They reestablished themselves as a premier league club. They were never dragged into the dogfight and, well, they'll always have Halloween. The sale of Andy Carroll was, sadly, inevitable, while the departure of Chris Hughton and the arrival of Alan Pardew remains a mysterious footnote. Everyone must make up their own mind as to whether they've got the right man, or whether they got rid of the right man. Boro HAVE got the right man. That's their happy ending. They kissed a frog, but they found their prince. Strachan was the sickness. Mowbray is their home-grown cure. A managerial change also defined Hartlepool's campaign. Chris Turner, who'd done so much at Victoria Park, finally got tired of the struggle. Mick Wadsworth became a sort of permanent caretaker and while mid-table mediocrity might not seem like the happiest of endings, it was actually a splendid achievement. Carlisle had another season of steady improvement under Greg Abbott and Peter Murphy's Wembley winner was Boy's Own stuff. Mark Cooper managed to sort out the unholy mess he inherited at Darlington and ended up with a Trophy for good measure. Gateshead were much-improved in their first modern season as a full time football club and Gary Mills arrived in time to steady the ship at York. So there you are. Everyone ended up smiling. Everyone loves a happy ending. True, we went through a lot of shit to get there, but what's life without little drama ?

North East Premier League team of the season 2010/2011

This is clearly a fool's errand and whatever I say is bound to annoy hundreds of thousands of people one way or another. But what the hell. Here goes....

The formation is 4-4-1-1 and, on principle, Andy Carroll and Darren Bent were not considered. There’s no bias in selection. It’s based on what I’ve seen and how I’ve seen it over the last 9 months.

STEVE HARPER (GK) – Tough choice. There were 4 options and no one entirely nailed it down. All had spells out of favour or out through injury. If I had to pick a man to make a wonder save to win a match, I’d pick Craig Gordon. But he’s fragile and occasionally timid. So I’m going for Mr Reliable. Steve has presence, Steve has character and Steve very rarely messes up.

PHIL BARDSLEY (RB) – I know I’m cheating, but he deserves to be in the team and he is a right back really. Last summer he was destined for a Championship loan-out or Stoke City reserves. The first knockings of the Black Cats epic injury crisis gave him an opportunity and he grabbed it with both hands. Now he’s got a new contract and a left foot he never knew he had.

JOSE ENRIQUE (LB) – Very, very easy choice. He’s answered all the lingering questions left over from the relegation season. He’s been excellent. It wasn’t a vintage year for Ashley Cole or Patrice Evra and Gael Clichy’s overrated, so for me the best left back in the premier league last season was either Leighton Baines or Jose Enrique. Now watch him leave.

FABRIZIO COLOCCINI (CB) – Another one with his fair share of lingering questions to answer after that relegation season and he’s passed his test with flying colours. During his debut premier league campaign he was bullied all over the place. But not this time. The Argentinian has risen to the challenge, become a cult hero on the Gallowgate and I wish I had his hair.

TITUS BRAMBLE (CB) – He was a former Magpie laughing stock and Sunderland fans weren’t exactly bowled over when they bought him. It only took Titus about 5 or 6 games to change their mind. On his day he’s one of the best battering-ram centre backs around. Not quite as formidable after his mid-season injury, but he wasn’t the only one.

JONAS GUTTIEREZ (RM) – A somewhat reluctant selection. I’ve never been his biggest fan and it’s only now, 3 years into his Newcastle career, that I’m beginning to see the point in him. My big problem is his lack of end product. He doesn’t score enough and he doesn’t create enough for a player with his talent. But he works hard and he’s not a show pony, so he’s in.

CHIECK TIOTE (CM) – An unheralded signing who was so good that he was given a new 6-year contract half way through the season. He’s a highly-accomplished midfield destroyer who links play cleverly and moves the ball well. A crowd favourite long before his Lazarus goal against Arsenal. Yes, he get's booked far too much, but he'll grow out of that.

HENDERSON (CM) – I thought long and hard about this one. In fact I changed the formation to fit him in. Partly because I just think he deserves to be part of this team. Partly because he’s the most promising homegrown player in the region post-Carroll. Mostly because he was asked to take on an awful lot this season and he did it all pretty well.

JOEY BARTON (RM) – His form is so good in the present that people have almost stopped talking about his past. Almost, but not quite. He’ll always carry his baggage with him, but he’s found the perfect place to express himself. So he shouldn’t leave. It’s in the best interests of NUFC, Joey Barton and his agent to sort out their differences. A massive, fundamental loss if he leaves.

KEVIN NOLAN (AM) – Captain. Heartbeat. Leader. Top Scorer. Straight talker. Some doubted he’d cope with the athletic side of the premier league, but that was rather missing the point. He’s such a clever player and such a good reader of opponents, that he knows where he needs to be and when he needs to be there. Halloween heroics saw him enter the Hall of Fame.

ASAMOAH GYAN (ST) – He’s done pretty well since his record-busting move and there’s definitely a sprinkling of stardust there. He’s not particularly consistent and he was as bad as everyone else during the great Black Cat collapse of 2011. But he’s a proper player, he’s on twitter and he uses phrases such as “sexy like cheese”.

Springtime stream of consciousness

What is it about the spring ? Where are the green shoots of recovery in North East football ? Why are we crap when the daffodils are out ? I had a rubbish start to spring, but I've cheered up since then. It was partly because some of it was in February and I don’t believe anyone’s really happy in February. It's a sneaky month. Everyone guards against a post-Christmas lull in January, but no one sees it coming when it hits in February. But what’s Sunderland’s excuse ? I know, Darren bloody Bent. Well, yes with hindsight @DB11TT (or @DB39TT or whatever he is now) has apparently knackered Sunderland’s season with his decision to take the money on offer down the road. But really, can we just lump all the blame onto the gun for hire ? He had, after all, been decidedly moderate during the first half of the season and it was screamingly obvious that his nose was well out of joint once Gyan wafted in with a sprinkling of super-stardust. And are Black Cats fans really going to claim that paying 5 million quid for a thirty-something striker from Stoke City with dodgy knees was going to be good use of the transfer pot ? No. No. No. It’s just the latest dose of Seasonal Affective Disorder on Wearside, because they’ve got a lot of previous when it comes to crap springs. They were rubbish around this time last year as well. Peter Reid’s best team around the turn of the century twice fell away after Christmas when Europe was in their grasp. That’s one of the main conundrums for Steve Bruce to unpick next season – how to keep going till the finishing line. And by the way, I’m prone to knee jerk reactions as much as the next man, but “Bruce out” on the phone-ins ? Really ? I mean REALLY ? Please, please get a grip. He’s the right man in the right place, at the right time and it’s up to him to kick on and make best use of the Stadium of Light opportunities. And opportunity knocks. I was lucky enough to have a couple of inside peeks at Sunderland over the last month or two – I did one of Niall Quinn’s talk-ins and then I happened to find myself in the boardroom after the Liverpool match – and these are serious, passionate, intelligent people with a game plan. So stick with it. Yes, this season’s a bit goosed now, but next season might be very good indeed. Newcastle haven’t been AS bad during the spring but they haven’t been wearing their daffodils with pride either. Like Sunderland, there are mitigating cirumstances (Andy, wherefore art thou Andy ?), but unlike Sunderland, the Magpies have done a decent job of rolling with the punches. It’s been patchy and volatile, but the Wolves win gets them just about over the top and anyone who complains too loudly at Newcastle this season needs to take a long hard look at the last 24 months, and the finances, then just pipe down and realise that the whole point of this season in the premier league was to make sure that next season is in the premier league as well. And there have been lovely little bonuses along the way. Leon Best – who saw that coming ? Joey Barton and Kevin Nolan – the Black and White midfield mafia of the premier league. Chieck Tiote – pound-for-pound up there with Javier Hernandez as the best signing of the season. So don’t complain. Complaining is just a waste of your life. Middlesbrough have quite enjoyed springtime. It was certainly better than the long, hard, grim winter and it was a country mile better than the dismal, depressing resource-sapping summer and autumn that came beforehand. I really, really like Tony Mowbray. He’s honest, he’s got a Boro-red heart and he understands that the manager’s job no longer comes with a silver spoon and an open chequebook. Yes, the club is on shifting, sinking sands financially, because the parachute won’t open so far next season, but they’ve got the right man at the helm. They’re staying up and that’s no small achievement considering the total wreckage Mowbray found when he arrived. Don’t dwell on the manager’s tone too much either. He’s got a quiet, almost downbeat tone about him during his press conferences. But that’s just the way he is. He’s very considered and if you listen to what he’s saying, it always makes sense. Springtime’s been OK for Hartlepool, but the main point there is that “OK” was all it needed to be, because they’d done more than enough beforehand to stay in League One, which was above and beyond what most people were expecting. Carlisle, god bless them, have only gone and won at Wembley in the springtime, when the sun was shining and the ghosts were laid to rest. Peter Murphy’s Daddy Cool story was brilliant and I was so pleased for all of them. The fans, the players, the management, the directors and Andy the kitman-cum-mediaman. They got a good kicking from Southampton 12 months ago and they learned from that and this was catharsis on a grand scale for everyone involved. And spring’s been brilliant for the non-league boys, with Darlo getting to Wembley and Gateshead running them close and Whitley Bay booking their inevitable return ticket for a day out beneath the arch. So I suppose spring’s not been all bad, but I did have a week at work where I felt more conflicted and more unsettled than I ever have during my 139 years in the job. It was nothing to do with my employers or my employment, it was to do with mechanics and ethics and journalistic method, and I will never, ever say anything more about that. Hopefully it’s over and hopefully the sun will keep shining and I’ll cover two more Wembley wins and Newcastle and even SAD-suffering Sunderland will finish with a flourish.

Decoding January

Any football reporter who tells you he didn't enjoy the January transfer window is lying. It was undoubtedly a pain in the arse, but also a glorious, unstoppable tale of the ever-so-slightly unexpected. It's too early to say who the winners and losers are. But it's fun trying.

Newcastle are two games into life after Andy. They looked listless and shot-shy at Fulham. They were listless and shot-shy x10 in the first half against Arsenal, but then there was the Lazarus moment and suddenly things didn't seem quite so bad. The reassuring thing is that the spirit is still there, even though their best player isn't. For that reason alone, forget the relegation scare stories. Newcastle will be absolutely fine. They'll also have 35 million pounds to spend on new players in the summer, won't they Mr Ashley.......

As for Andy Carroll himself, I'm not so sure. In terms of geography and lifestyle, Liverpool is better for him than London. In terms of the football they play and the football they're going to play under Kenny Dalglish, I'm not so sure it'll suit him. I hope he fulfils his massive potential, I just don't think he should have left home to do it. It was a transfer driven by a ticking clock and a big wad of cash. On January 30th Andy Carroll wasn't worth 35 million. On February the 1st no one in world football would have paid 35 million for him. But on January 31st, with the deadline approaching and the Torres money burning a hole in Liverpool's pocket, Andy Carroll WAS worth 35 million. Had there been more time, I reckon someone would have talked Andy Carroll out of it. As far as Newcastle were concerned, it was good business, there's no denying that. But it was sad business.

Then there's the curious journey of Alan Pardew. He spent the whole of January insisting Andy Carroll wasn't for sale. Then he had to spend an uncomfortable press conference admitting that Andy Carroll was for sale after all. He's becoming Gallowgate's trouble-shooting diplomat. It wasn't his fault they sold Carroll, just as it wasn't his fault they sacked Hughton. But on both occasions, he had to face the music and he had to deal with the consequences. He dealt with it quite well all things considered and depending how much difference you think half time team talks actually make, he's emerged Post-Carroll and Post-Arsenal with a degree of credit. He's the Kofi Annan of St James Park.

Sunderland are three games into life after Darren and results haven't been great. But they have done the one thing they absolutely had to do. They've scored goals. Bent was the principle goalscorer last season and was still top gun this season even though the load had been shared around a bit. They had to prove they could find the net without him and they have. Yes, they're thin up front and yes, the rise of Liverpool makes 6th place look a lot less likely, but it doesn't look like the season's going to fall apart at the seams.

As for Darren Bent, he'll be fine. He got what he considered to be a better offer and he took it. Even if it doesn't work out for him at Villa, there'll be other offers and other badges to kiss.

Then there's Steve Bruce and his retail therapy. He knew fine well he was never going to get Darren Bent's long term replacement in January and he resisted the tempation to overpay for a striker he might only want for 6 months. Instead, he upgraded his squad by shipping out the unwanted and bringing in two he'd been after for a while. Sessegnon and Muntari both look like shrewd acquisitions. Bruce has been guilty of impulse buys in the past, but this time he's played his hand sensibly.

North East football fans are nearly two weeks into their new reality. They've been forced to face up to something they've long suspected, but seldom admitted. It matters to us more than it matters to them. Supporters are brought up wearing a cloak of loyalty. Players wear different clothes. Football's their job, not necessarily their passion. The club is their employer, not their family. They listen to their agents, not their fans. I thought Andy Carroll was different, but one way or another, he wasn't. As the mighty NUFC.COM put it on January the 31st "Football romance is dead, everyone is a liar, contracts should be printed on toilet paper."

Money can’t buy you love. But it can buy your centre forward. Here endeth the lesson of the January 2011 transfer window.

Darren Bent - Dancing in the Dark

“I get up in the evening, and I ain't got nothing to say. I come home in the morning, I go to bed feeling the same way. I ain't nothing but tired, man I'm just tired and bored with myself. Hey there baby, I could use just a little help.”

(Bruce Springsteen – Dancing in the Dark)

Has this become the ballad of the modern footballer ? Tired and bored with themselves and always in need of a little help, a little love or a better offer ?

“You can't start a fire. You can't start a fire without a spark. This gun's for hire even if we're just dancing in the dark.”

It could have been written for Darren Bent. This fire didn’t start without a spark. This blaze which threatens to burn down the Black Cats season wasn’t just a case of spontaneous combustion. Darren Bent never harboured secret childhood dreams of playing in front of the Holt End. Darren Bent wasn’t even particularly unhappy at Sunderland. Darren Bent is a gun for hire and it really doesn’t matter if he’s swapping 6th place for 17th, because if the deal’s right, he’s happy to go to Aston Villa and dance in the dark.

“Message keeps getting clearer, radio's on and I'm moving round the place. I check myself out in the mirror I wanna change my clothes my hair my face. Man I ain't getting nowhere just sitting in a dump like this. There's something happening somewhere baby I just know that there is.”

This is where it gets sad. For Sunderland fans at least, because this is how the premier league works in 2010. Look in the mirror, listen to the agents, then change your club, change your shirt and get paid. We now know there was a moment last summer when Darren Bent might have left Sunderland. He was talked down then but a seed was planted. “There’s something happening somewhere, baby I just know that there is.” He’s never looked on top of his game this season and he’s looked completely off the pace and a bit sulky for the last couple of months. It begins to look like he decided to change his clothes a while back. You can picture him sat at home thinking “Man I ain’t getting nowhere”, although to be fair I don’t believe he told himself he was “just sitting in a dump like this.” He made an effort to assimilate himself into North East culture during his time here. That earned him respect. I imagine he'll now go and do exactly same in the West Midlands. Black Cats fans will feel rejected, but this gun’s for hire, geography doesn’t matter and Villa fans will already be getting "BENT 39" printed on their shirts.

“You sit around getting older there's a joke here somewhere and it's on me.
I'll shake this world off my shoulders come baby this laughs on me.”

The joke might be on you Darren. Sunderland are 6th in the premier league and, shoddy Derby performances aside, appear to be upwardly mobile. Aston Villa finished 6th last season, but they're suffering a major downturn now. Martin O'Neill and dreams of the Champions League have gone. They've been replaced by Gerard Houllier, a relegation battle and suggestions of unrest in the dressing room. They have a talented squad, but how many of Villa’s young guns will be looking in the mirror right now and considering changing their clothes ? What goes around comes around Darren, and if you play the game this way, don’t be surprised if the game ends up playing you.

“Stay on the streets of this town and they'll be carving you up alright. They say you got to stay hungry hey baby I'm just about starving tonight. I'm dying for some action I'm sick of sitting 'round here trying to write this book. I need a love reaction come on now baby give me just one look.”

Darren Bent is hungry. He’s a good professional and he’ll do the best he can for whatever team he plays for. But he always needs that love reaction and all Aston Villa needed to do was give him just one look. Sunderland fans hoped he felt their passion for the club. They wanted to believe he was ready for a long term relationship. But he wasn’t and he probably never will be. As he said at his press conference at Villa Park, “I had some good times at Sunderland, but that’s all behind me now.” Look in the mirror, listen to the agent, change your clothes, count your pay rise and don’t look back. He’s created a huge problem for Steve Bruce and Sunderland, who must race against time to replenish their resources before the final premier league push. But it’s not Darren Bent’s problem. Sunderland fans also face a dilemma. How are they supposed to react to this ? Maybe more could have been done to try and persuade him to stay, but supporters can’t accuse the club of lacking ambition. It’s Darren Bent’s ambitions that are the issue here. It’s just sad for fans to realise that he wasn’t who they thought he was. They hoped he was another Niall Quinn or Kevin Phillips, but he's a different beast entirely. It was fun while it lasted and he leaves some great memories behind, but this is modern football and Darren Bent is a modern footballer. Remember……

“This gun's for hire even if we're just dancing in the dark.”